Let’s All Expand Together
It is always hugely helpful to me to remind myself that life is made up of moments. We have joyful moments and sad moments. Exciting moments and daunting moments. Peaceful moments and chaotic moments. Connecting moments and separating moments. They are always all there. Hopefully, we are all able to notice the ones that feel good.
January is such a time of renewal for so many of us. We decide to start fresh. We set goals. We think through intentions. We let go of what didn’t work the year before and make promises to ourselves about what we will take with us into the next. Sometimes those promises stick. Often, if we aren’t really committed, they get abandoned. And that never feels good.
From where I sit, they get abandoned when they are shoulds. When we set goals that are created by expectations outside of ourselves - by culture or consumerism or stereotype or social construct - we don’t really have the internal motivation to see them through.
Lose weight. Go to the gym more. Stay off my phone. Make more money. Be kinder. Call my parents more. Yell at my kids less. These goals are all about doing something different. And usually, they are driven by an image that we want for ourselves. They are based on how we want our lives to look on the outside.
One of the things that I get more and more clear about as I get older is that what other people think of me truly does not matter. I know this is a well-worn cliché, but at this point in my life I feel it in my bones. What others see me doing is not the point.
How I feel inside, is.
And psychology reminds us that when we are internally motivated, we are more successful than when we are externally motivated. Want and Need hold more power than Should when it comes to taking action. If I want to do something different and if I need to do something different, I likely will. If I tell myself that I should do something different, I will be telling myself that for a lifetime.
So, friend, this January, let’s set you up for success, shall we? ⬇️
✅ Take a moment today and pull out a journal, or a recording voice memo app, or a piece of paper and a pen, and get yourself steady enough to set some intentions.
How do I want to FEEL at the end of 2023?
What kind of thoughts are likely to lead me there?
What are the choices, starting small and moving towards significant, that will lead me in that direction?
What are the choices, starting small and moving towards significant, that will lead me far away from the way that I want to feel?
What is most important to me in my life and what do I need to let go of to live with integrity and authenticity?
What is most important to me in my life and what do I need to embrace more of to live with integrity and authenticity?
I am hoping for all of us that this year brings us closer to what matters most in life. Because at the end of it all, all we really have is ourselves and those who love us and are loved by us 💖